


Men Too - (Hyungwon)

by smoshyphantrash



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Aftercare, Anxiety, Coercion, Denial, Depression, Domestic Violence, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, M/M, Manipulation, Mind Manipulation, Physical Abuse, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sexual Coercion, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-13 01:42:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15353448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smoshyphantrash/pseuds/smoshyphantrash
Summary: "You are an abuse victim and survivor."In which Hyungwon is in an abusive relationship and won't admit he's being abused.





	1. × hana ×

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning: abuse, suicide mentions, depression, anxiety. People seriously don't write this enough. Women abuse men too. Every story is valid. If you're struggling, please don't be afraid to get help. You're loved and your abuse doesn't define your worth.

I missed my friends so much. Just one night in a club is all I wanted. I deserved one night of Minhyuk and Changkyun being hoe buddies. One night of being that friends that lets them grind on me. I was happy, until the night was ending, that is. After I drove Kihyun, Minhyuk and Jooheon home, I headed to my house. As I pulled into the driveway and saw that damn living room light on, I was really wishing I'd have just pulled over into the woods and let Jooheon fuck Minhyuk instead of rushing to get them home. That's how much I hated being at home. Hell, that's not my home... Only a house with one ridiculous female inside.

I opened the front door and I felt the chill of tension fall over me. "Welcome home," my girlfriend, Minha, said sarcastically. "It's only ten o'clock at night. Why the early end?" She asked.

I shrugged. "Well," I sighed, sitting down. "All my friends are sluts." 

"Oh," Minha said, standing up. "Thought you were running away from me." As she walked over to me, I felt anxiety crawl up my body. Minha tapped my chin a little too roughly, causing me to bite my tongue.

I shook my head. "No," I said, sitting forward. "Not yet anyways."

Minha scoffed. "Excuse me?" She smacked my shoulder a bit. "Hey. Hello? I'm fucking talking to you, Hyungwon." I gasped out in slight discomfort as Minha gripped my hair, turning my head toward her.

"Ow, what the hell, dude?" I rubbed my head, looking up at her.

Minha chuckled a bit. "Baby, you can't leave me. You need me, you know?" She chuckled softly. "After all, I'm the love of your life. You probably won't find another like me."

I stood up and started to walk away. "Good," I mumbled, heading to the kitchen. Minha followed me, obviously.

"How was your night, babe?" She asked, grabbing a glass of water.

I shrugged, grabbing something out of the refrigerator. "Good," I nodded.

Minha went quiet for a bit as I made myself some food. "Someone sent me a video," she said. "The fuck was Minhyuk doing grinding on you?" 

I froze up a bit. "He was drunk." Of course she had one of her psycho ass friends watch me. 

"So that means he can put his ass on your dick?" Minha asked, coming over to me. "Your... Very, special, thick..." I rolled my eyes as I shoved her hand off of my crotch. "What is wrong with you?" 

I grabbed her hand tightly as she tried to move it back. "I don't want to fuck tonight." I let go of her hand, distancing myself from her. Minha was silent for a while, but the moment I turned back around, she slapped me in the face. "What the fuck, dude?" I yelled.

"Why don't you love me?" Minha screamed. "Am I ugly? Is there someone else? Why don't you love me?" I sighed softly, hating this so much.

Why was I still standing here was a better question. "Minha, you know I love you." That was a lie. No, I don't. I just hate being alone. "I just don't want to have sex tonight."

Minha chuckled a bit. "Just say it, Hyungwon." I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Say what?" I asked. I was growing tired of this debate for the night.

Minha looked up at me with tears in her eyes. Whether they were real or of the crocodile kind wasn't clear to me. "You're gay," she said.

I scoffed, "Oh my fucking God." She was being so ridiculous. "I'm going to bed."

That made her angry. Minha pushed me into the counter. "Don't fucking walk away from me. You're gay aren't you?" She asked again. When I didn't answer, she slapped me across the face.

"Fucking slap me one more fucking time," I dared. "I've taken so much so far, I will let you have it." Minha laughed at my threat.

She was fucking insane. "I'll scream bloody murder. I'll make it sound like you're taking advantage of me." Minha grabbed my face roughly. "Dare to test me again?" She asked. I didn't say anything. "Go to bed, I guess. I don't fucking care. At this point, I don't care whether or not you decide to go fuck around with your boys or whatever you were doing tonight."

I scoffed, walking to the bedroom. "I was at the goddamn club, but sure." I sighed softly, going to change quickly so I could go to bed. I wasn't completely beaten up, but my cheek was suffering a bit of swelling. After I changed, I headed to bed, not caring to do much more. 

It was about one in the morning when I woke up from a nightmare. I felt a panic attack coming on. Minha was crazy and abusive, I know. She wasn't in bed with me, so I got up to go the the bathroom and splash my face with water. When I turned on the light, I gasped, seeing her sitting on the floor crying. "Hyungwon," she whined.

"What did you fucking do?" I asked, rushing to the sink with a wash towel.

Minha sniffled, trying to speak. "Please don't leave me," she whispered. "I'm fucked. I know. If you leave... I-I won't make it. I'll end it. Because I drove away the one thing I loved.

I sat on the floor next to her, attempting to avoid any blood on the floor. "I'm not going anywhere, baby... You're not gonna kill yourself." My panic only worsened. "Hey, hey... I'm here." I tightened the washcloth around her arm. 

After I bandaged her arms up, Minha attached herself to me as I carried her back to bed. She began to kiss my neck. "I love you," she said. I knew exactly what she wanted. I didn't necessarily want to say no to her. So, I let her have it. And afterward? I fucking cried like I've never cried before.

After she fell back asleep, I grabbed my phone and headed to the guest bedroom, locking myself inside. "Hello?" Wonho answered sleepily.

"Help me," I said before bursting into tears again. "Please... I-I can't do this. Help me."

Wonho perked up. "Hyungwon? What's going on buddy? Do I need to come over?" I heard him grab his keys.

I couldn't stop crying. "I don't know! I-I hate being home, I can't stand being in the same room as her, I feel like I'm fucking dying every goddamn day. Then she slits her wrists, what am I supposed to do? Just say, "You're a fucking bitch, please leave me the fuck alone, you make me hate myself?" No! I can't say that!"

Wonho sighed softly. "I'm coming over, okay?" I took a deep breath before crying out in agreement. I hung up on him and just sat in the guest room, thinking over everything.

Minha made me feel weak. Like I wasn't a man, hell not even a human. I felt like a fucking dog. Wonho was there in almost no time. I ran downstairs and turned off the alarm system before letting him in. "Hey," he said, giving me a tight hug.

"Hyungwon?" Minha called. Fuck, she was coming. "I heard the system beep. Who the fuck is here so late?" I shoved Wonho away so she didn't start shit. Better yet, I hid him around the corner so she couldn't see him.

I wiped my tears and pulled myself together. "Uhm, Wonho came over. He's having an issue."

Minha scoffed, "Well, send him home." She said. "I don't fucking appreciate them popping in whenever." When I didn't move, Minha started to back me into the wall. "Hello? Did you fucking hear me?" She slapped my face extremely hard. "Fucking send him home." I groaned, holding my face.

Since I was bent over, she was able to grab my hair. "Hey, hey! Let go of me you fucking bitch!" I had enough. As i tried to grab her arm and pull her hand away, she continued to hit me, including throwing a fist in the face that made me hit my head on a stud in the wall.

Wonho came around the corner, pulling Minha off of me. "Hey, let him go right now!" He pulled me into a hug to protect me. I was crying again. "I'm taking him to my house, you're fucking insane." Even with Wonho there protecting me from the Spawn of Satan, I felt like I was still alone.

Minha began laughing. "Hyungwon, are you seriously crying right now?" She asked. "What the hell? Why? Because you already know what's going to be on the news? Young Adult Found Dead? You swore you wouldn't leave me. I can't live without you." I shook my head. She was really tripping my guilt trigger. 

"I-I can't do this!" I screamed. I pushed away from Wonho to talk. "I feel like I'm fucking dying! Dying a slow, painful fucking death. You keep holding suicide over my head so I'll stay with you? That's so insane... And it's ironic that I've been trying to get away from you that I'm exactly that desperate. You say it to make me feel bad, I don't say it so I can die in peace and all of this shit can be over!" I sniffled, wiping my tears.

Wonho grabbed onto me again. "You're abusive, Minha. He won't admit he's being abused but he is, and you're fucking abusing him. You're harming him in every way possible and you're making him question his own sanity and morals. Is it okay to leave you while you threaten suicide? Should he just take it because he's a man? Should he keep quiet and just end himself eventually? You're causing him hell. You don't fucking love him, you love using him."

Minha rolled her eyes. "We rough house a lot." She lied. I screamed out, pulling myself away from Wonho and punching the wall. 

"No we fucking don't! Stop making me look, feel and sound insane." I stepped to her. "I'm fucking done with you. I'll fucking die here. Either you'll kill me, or I kill myself to save you the work. My chest hurts everyday. Anxiety, depression, I can't breathe, I can't sleep. Please get some fucking help and for the love of God don't hurt anyone like this. To where they'd rather kill themselves than stay with you." Now that I'd let everything go, Wonho took me out of the house and took me to his home.

As he opened the door, I walked inside, completely exhausted. "Hyungwon?" Wonho asked, locking the front door. I turned around and looked at him. "God, you look exhausted... Stressed. Done..." I nodded. I was. "I know this doesn't feel good, but you need to say it out loud." I furrowed my eyebrows. "You are an abuse victim and survivor. You are a man, you've been in an abusive relationship for almost a year now. Don't erase that. Because this happens to men too." The tears began to fall again. I was tired and done. "You don't have to be the spokesperson for abused men, but you need to admit it because your story is just as valid as anyone else's. Okay?"

I nodded, sniffling and wiping my tears again. "Okay," I whispered.

Wonho hugged me tightly. "Let's go get you to bed, yeah?" 

I nodded, "Yeah..." I mumbled, going upstairs with him. I passed out as soon as I hit the pillow. I was so tired. But at least I was out.


	2. × dul ×

I woke up the next morning and instantly had a panic attack. Did I pay the bills? Did I get a message from another girl? Did my ex-best friend try to contact me? Were the notifcations only coming through my phone and not hers? "Hyungwon!" Wonho shook me to wake me up. I gasped, taking a deep breath. I guess I wasn't breathing. "You're sweating..." He whispered, running his hand across my head. "Cold to the touch. Are you okay?" He asked as he got up to grab me some new clothes.

I mumbled out some nonsense before taking another deep breath. "Uhm... I-I don't know." Wonho sat next to me and insisted on laying me down on him. He just ran his hands through my hair, trying to calm me down.

"How fucked up was she?" Wonho asked.

I sighed softly, drawing circles in his thigh trying to calm down myself. "Extremely... I woke up wondering if I paid the bills. If it was only my phone going off or hers. I wake up in fear apparently."

Wonho nodded, "Come on, buddy." I sat up and Wonho stood up. "If you want to go back to sleep, you can, but I want you to take a shower and I'm gonna change the sheets. You probably had a panic attack in your sleep and had a cold sweat. You shouldn't lay back in the sweat. So go take a quick shower okay?" I nodded, taking the towel and clothes he set out for me. 

I turned around for a second. "Hey, Wonho?" I asked.

"What's up?" Wonho began stripping the bed.

I looked down at the floor. "Can I get my things from her house?" I felt ashamed that I even wanted to go back. "I-I know I can only fit a couple things of yours."

Wonho looked at me and nodded. "Anything you need. Do you want me to get them for you? So you don't have to see her?" I shrugged. "We can go together. Go take a shower, get dressed. You can take a nap before we go. There's no rush okay?" I nodded and started to go to the bathroom.

I locked myself in the bathroom and sighed, taking my shirt off. I had greenish yellow splotches on my chest and arms. Minha usually punched the fuck out of me when she was angry. I sighed, turning on the shower. I felt gross and I had a horrible headache. Even though I agreed to having sex with her last night, I hated every single moment of it and it left me feeling gross. I jumped in the shower and took a few deep breaths. I can cry without being heard. The words Wonho said to me last night played over in my head like a skipping record. I took a deep breath as the tears fell. "I-I am..." I whimpered. I couldn't finish it. I wasn't ready. I just continued to wash up. Suddenly, my eyes and nose began burning as I remembered something.

I was back in my bathroom. The door flung opened, the shower curtain slid back and Minha was pissed. "What the fuck is this?" Minha held up my phone.

"Why do you have my fucking phone?" I asked, reaching for it.

Minha pulled my phone back and I almost slipped. "Why the fuck are you talking to your hoe ass ex-girlfriend?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Sora is my best friend, I never dated her." I tried to reach for my phone again.

"I told you not to talk to other fucking girls," Minah yelled, squirting soap on me.

She had amazing aim, hitting me in the eye. "Fuck!" I yelled, reaching for the shower head. Minha turned off the shower. "Stop fucking around, you got soap in my goddamn eyes, bitch!" I grabbed a towel and rubbed my eyes, which made it worse. "Fuck!" Minha sighed obnoxiously, leaving me in the bathroom.

The door being pounded on snapped me out of my thoughts. "Hyungwon, don't make me come in there! Are you okay?"

I looked around, remembering where I was. I turned off the shower and threw the towel around my waist. "Uhm... Yeah. Thanks." I jumped out of the shower and dried myself off and got changed. I opened the door and Wonho was waiting for me outside. "Uh, where do I put these?" I asked.

Wonho took a sigh of relief. "I'll take them, I have to start wash anyway. Do you want to go back to sleep?" I nodded a bit and left the bathroom, heading back to Wonho's bedroom. I felt like a freeloader. 

I slept for quite a while, more i to the evening time. In my dreams, all I could do was remember things she'd done to me. When I got up, I began heading downstairs. "Hey," I smiled at Wonho.

"Hey, you ready to go?" He asked. 

I shrugged a bit, not really ready. "How about we get some dinner first?" He nodded, grabbing his keys.

Wonho set his alarm system, having me follow. "Where to?" He asked, unlocking his car.

"Shrimp always sounds good," I said, smiling. Wonho was such a fantastic friend. I laid back in his passenger seat and sighed contendedly. Everything was okay, until I began getting anxious about Minha. 

Wonho looked over at me. "Hyungwon? Buddy, you okay?" He asked.

I shook my head, breathing getting heavier. "No..." I whimpered.

"Talk to me, do I need to pull over?" Wonho pressed his hazard lights.

I started bawling my eyes out. "Minha's dead," I whispered. Wonho quickly pulled over, unbuckling my seatbeat. "She's dead. I left, she killed herself, she's dead." I began to hyperventilate. I really didn't know what was going on with her, but I couldn't get what she said last night out of my head, what she did last night.

"Take off your jacket, Hyungwon," Wonho said, pushing my hair back. I shook my head. I couldn't move. "Come on, take it off." Wonho grabbed my arm, pulling the jacket off. "Take a deep breath." I tried to but I only worked up my hyperventilation more. Wonho put his hand on my chest, slowing his own breathing to help me. "Hey, you're okay, everything's fine." I shook my head, crying harder. Nothing was fine. "Alright, do you wanna go back to her house first?" Wonho asked. I nodded, wiping my tears. I needed to know she was okay. "Take my hand," He said, grabbing my hand.

I buckled myself back in as he squeezed my hand in slow increments, telling me I needed to breathe. I calmed down withing five minutes. "I shouldn't have left her..." I mumbled, flipping the AC vent toward myself.

Wonho turned down Minha's street. "I'll go in, okay?" He said. It wasn't really a question. I nodded as we pulled into her driveway, unbuckling my seatbelt again. I leaned forward, putting my head inbetween my legs.

Five minutes passed and Wonho wasn't back yet. It was dark now. I looked up to see Wonho walking out with Minha. "Oh God." My breath hitched in my throat as they got into another argument. I just hid myself. I hated that I felt so guilty for leaving.

Wonho got back in the car and began driving away. "Do you still want shrimp?" He asked, trying to distract me. I nodded, looking out my window. Wonho put on the radio, one of my favorite songs finally bringing a smile on my face.


End file.
